27 January 2013


driving, for me, is somewhat a scary thing
though it is not on the same level as dolls and plushies... >.<
besides, I'm getting more apprehensive of it coz of accidents that I, myself, involved in and also other people's
but whatever it is, I need to know how to drive...so, I just recently continue with my driving lessons
already have the L licence, so, just need to renew it, and off I go behind the wheels
so, today was the 3rd day of my class and I also had a pre-test
alhamdulillah, I manage to pass that...though barely...
so, I can take the 'real' test later
I already aimed to take it on the 19th...so, not gonna go to class on that day...
I realized, driving isn't so hard...it just seems to be a bit harder coz I have to use manual cars during the lessons and tests
oh, well...good thing there are only autos at my house
all in all, I really hope I could got my P on the first go...if not...oh, well...what else to do except to take the test back...heee...
( ,--)\

21 January 2013

again and again and again

I keep seeing those words
again and again and again
I know it's never gonna happen
but why do I still feel like this
self, I thought you are better now
you are not at all, huh self
you still couldn't get out of that, huh
self, just let it be
just stop hoping for things
just coz that thing with Twitter,
you are happy all over again
urghhh...grow up...
it's just a short thing
and you know it...you know it all along
and yet, you still feel like this
again and again and again
sucks to be you...

16 January 2013


if you are given a chance to change certain things in your life
would you make a pact with the devil to do it
sell your soul so that it'll suffer for eternity
for that one chance of happiness

13 January 2013

need to be check in the head

~sigh~...I don't know...these past few days, I've become damn confuse of what's happening and what happened...I'm confuse about reality, dreams, fantasies...maybe I fantasise too much...or maybe my dreams were a bit too realistic...but seriously, though...I would wake up from a sleep, whether in the morning or afternoon or evening, and I would think to myself "wow, what a good day" and then I realized I was just dreaming...damn it...and sometimes, when I'm reminiscing about a memory, it took me a while to realise, it's not even a real memory...it was just one of my damn fantasies...I hope this doesn't go on...coz there might be something wrong with my head...really need to check it...or maybe, I should just stop making up scenarios in my head and watching or reading real messed up stories or movies or series...should get a reality check and keep track on what's real, what's not...come on...it isn't that hard, right...I can effing do it.!. \(~_~)/

11 January 2013


I miss you,
damn it

p/s:...gonna stop being pathetic when I've calmed down or healed enough... /(>.<) ...being stupid an all...

10 January 2013

it's great until...haish...

been having not-so-good dreams since a few nights ago...
which rarely happens since I'm a good 'dreamer' usually
so last night, I slept with Momo, a stuff monkey I got as a gift
yeah, I don't generally do that
coz in my opinion,
stuff animal could wake up and kill you in your sleeep...heee... /(#>.<#)
so, anyway, yeah...
it kinda work
I woke up around 0630 with good dreams in my mind
about sweet real memories blending in with cool stories I watched
feeling good and all.....
but then, I log into FB and poof.!.good feelings gone
bye bye...see you never...
why can't some people just let me be when I'm trying to heal at my pace
we've never really talked before, so don't start now
I don't wanna
damn it.!.

p/s:...good luck to you who are having your final paper today...

02 January 2013

next week

can't update you properly this week
I'll do it next week
coz I have exam till the 8th
gonna be back home on that day
and with great internet connection,
I'm all yours
this also applies to my other blogs